Hey everyone, let’s talk about one of the biggest, most confusing questions out there: Are you an alcoholic?

Now, full disclaimer: I am not a doctor, a therapist, or a licensed professional. What I am is a guy with a five-year chip, 13 years of moderation management, a stint in rehab, and decades of lived experience on this road. I’m here to share my experience and ask the questions that often don’t get asked.

The truth is, nobody can officially tell you you’re an alcoholic. Not really. It’s a self-diagnosed condition. But if that’s true, then how do we get statistics saying 35 million Americans have an alcohol use disorder? Who’s doing the diagnosing?

You’ve felt it. That nagging doubt in the back of your mind after one too many nights. The anxiety when you look at the empty bottles. The defensive anger when a loved one suggests you “slow down.” It leads to the biggest, scariest, and most confusing question of all: Am I an alcoholic?

Here’s the secret no one tells you upfront: No one can officially answer that for you.

I learned this the hard way. After a lengthy rehab intake—a deep dive into my habits, my history, and my bloodwork—I looked the counselor in the eye and asked, “So, am I an alcoholic?”

His reply? “We can’t tell you that. It’s self-diagnosed.”

I was stunned. We have diagnoses for cancer, for high blood pressure, for diabetes. How can one of the most pervasive ailments in human history lack a clear, objective diagnostic test?

The Official Word: What the Doctors Say

While the term “alcoholic” is falling out of medical favor, a clinical diagnosis does exist. The American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), defines Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD) as a “problematic pattern of alcohol use leading to clinically significant impairment or distress.”

A diagnosis of Mild, Moderate, or Severe AUD is based on meeting at least 2 of the following 11 criteria in the past year:

1. Drinking more or longer than you intended.
2. Wanting to cut down or stop but not managing to.
3. Spending a lot of time drinking, or being sick or getting over the aftereffects.
4. Craving alcohol.
5. Failing to do what you should at work, home, or school because of drinking.
6. Continuing to drink even though it was causing trouble with your family or friends.
7. Giving up or cutting back on activities that were important or interesting to you in order to drink.
8. Getting into situations while or after drinking that increased your chances of getting hurt.
9. Continuing to drink even though it was making you feel depressed or anxious or adding to another health problem.
10. Having to drink much more than you once did to get the effect you want. (Tolerance)
11. Experiencing withdrawal symptoms, such as trouble sleeping, shakiness, irritability, anxiety, depression, restlessness, nausea, or sweating when the wear-off starts. (Withdrawal)

The American Medical Association and other major health bodies recognize AUD as a chronic brain disorder. So, a doctor can diagnose you based on these criteria.

The Personal Truth: Why the Diagnosis Isn’t Enough

But here’s the rub. You can walk out of a doctor’s office with a formal diagnosis of “Severe Alcohol Use Disorder” and a prescription for medication, and it can mean absolutely nothing.

Why? Because addiction lives in the gap between knowing and accepting.

The DSM-5 criteria are an excellent mirror. They give language to the chaos. But the moment of truth—the crossing of that invisible, personal line—is an internal event. It’s the moment you stop arguing with the criteria and start admitting, “Yes. That’s me.”

It’s not about the number of drinks. It’s about the number of broken promises, the lost opportunities, the quiet dread in the morning. It’s about the line you cross where drinking is no longer a choice but a compulsion, and stopping feels impossible.

So, How Do You Know?

Forget the label for a moment. Don’t get stuck on the word “alcoholic.” Ask yourself the harder questions:

• Is alcohol causing problems in my life—with my health, my relationships, my finances, my self-respect?
• Am I tired of the internal argument, the bargaining, the shame?
• Have my attempts to “control” or “moderate” my drinking consistently failed?
• Am I ready to stop fighting this battle alone?

The power, and the responsibility, ultimately rests with you. The official diagnosis is a tool, but the truce begins with self-honesty. You are the only one who can decide you’ve crossed the line. And you are the only one who can decide to walk back.

Chris Mosser

Author of Grateful Truce & The AGI Dilemma