Disclaimer: I am not a licensed doctor, therapist, or psychiatrist. My perspective comes from personal experience, years of research, and a journey of finding a sustainable path. This is for those who have found that abstinence-based programs don’t work for them, but who also know that a return to uncontrolled drinking is a recipe for disaster.

For many of us struggling with alcohol, the world presents a binary, “all-or-nothing” choice: you’re either a “normal” drinker, or you’re an alcoholic who must never drink again.

But what if there is a middle ground? What if the key to managing your relationship with alcohol isn’t a lifelong war of willpower, but a strategic truce built on data and self-awareness?

This is the foundation of The Math of Moderation.

The First Sign: You’re Already Counting

If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “I’ve gone 20 days without a drink,” or “I only drank four times this month,” you’ve already identified a key symptom of a problematic relationship with alcohol. Normal drinkers don’t count. This self-awareness isn’t a curse; it’s a tool. Acceptance is the first step. You count? Good. Now, let’s use that to your advantage.

Instead of fighting the impulse to count, we channel it into a structured plan. Here are the key equations for building your truce.

The Four Equations for a Sustainable Truce

1. The Quantity Equation: The Daily Limit
The simplest and most powerful number is your daily drink limit. This isn’t a suggestion; it’s a hard stop designed to prevent a hangover and the loss of control that comes with it.

• The Rule: Set a realistic limit. For many men, this might be 3-4 standard drinks. For women, 2-3.
• The Fine Print: You must be ruthlessly honest. What counts as a drink? A single shot of liquor, a 12-oz beer, or a 5-oz glass of wine are all standard. A strong craft beer or a large pour of wine counts as more.

2. The Time Equation: Shrinking the Window
Moderation isn’t just about how much, but for how long. Binge drinking often happens over a long, undefined period.

• The Strategy: Drastically reduce your drinking window.
• The Example: If you used to drink from 5 PM until 1 AM (an 8-hour window), restrict yourself to a 2-hour window, from 5 PM to 7 PM. This simple change automatically caps the total amount you can consume.

3. The Frequency Equation: Reducing Drinking Days
This is where you combine quantity and time with frequency. The goal is to reduce the number of days alcohol is in your system.

• The Strategy: If you drink on Fridays and Saturdays, try cutting it down to just one day.
• The Mindset: This isn’t about punishment or failure. It’s a conscious choice to give your body and brain more time to recover, proving that you are in control of the schedule, not the addiction.

4. The “Spin Dry” Equation: Scheduled Sobriety
This is the most powerful tool for resetting your tolerance and proving your capability. I personally commit to one 100-day period of sobriety every year.

• The Strategy: Plan an extended period of complete sobriety. It’s not forever; it’s a reset.
• Start Small: If 100 days sounds daunting, start with a 20-day or 30-day “spin dry.” Count the days. Each one is a victory. You will be stunned by the mental clarity, improved sleep, and physical vitality you gain.

The Bonus Calculation: Your Financial Health

Let’s talk about a number everyone understands: money. The cost of drinking is often a blind spot.

• Do the Math:
  • Home Bar Budget: How much do you spend on alcohol for home each month?
  • Social Budget: How much do you spend at bars, restaurants, and clubs?
• Add it up over a year. The result is often a shocking sum—money that could be going toward debt, savings, vacations, or other personal goals. Moderation isn’t just a health strategy; it’s a sound financial plan.

Conclusion: Your Numbers, Your Control

The path of moderation is not the easy path. It requires honesty, discipline, and constant vigilance. But for many, it is a more sustainable and empowering journey than the “all-or-nothing” dichotomy.

By applying this math, you are not white-knuckling your way through life. You are using structure, data, and clear boundaries to manage your truce. You are taking back control, one number at a time.

Your journey is your own. But you don’t have to walk it alone.

Listen to the full discussion on this week’s Grateful Truce podcast, where I dive deeper into each of these equations and the mindset needed to make them work.

Chris Mosser

Author of Grateful Truce & The AGI Dilemma