(How Five Years of Sobriety Led to My Epiphany)

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The Moment Everything Changed

For five years, I believed what AA told me:

• “To drink again is to die.”
• “You’re one drink away from jail or the asylum.”
• “A ‘normal’ life isn’t for people like us.”

Then one night, in a fluorescent-lit church basement, I had my epiphany:

“This isn’t recovery—it’s a life sentence.”

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EXCERPT FROM GRATEFUL TRUCE (PAGES 51-54)

(Published exactly as written in your book)

HOW FIVE YEARS OF AA SOBRIETY ENDS
The Night I Realized Sobriety Had Become My Prison

The fluorescent lights buzzed like dying bees as I clutched my five-year chip. Around me, the AA meeting unfolded with ritual precision:

• A newcomer trembled through his drunkalogue, romanticizing the chaos I’d paid for in divorce papers and a DUI.
• Two veterans with identical sobriety dates contradicted each other’s “wisdom.”
• The chorus of slogans: “Easy Does It,” “One Day at a Time”—now sounded less like wisdom and more like a life sentence.

No one said the quiet part aloud:
“Congratulations on your sobriety. Your reward is a lifetime of church basements, lukewarm Folgers, and pretending sparkling water is celebratory.”

THE CANT’S OF SOBRIETY
AA’s unwritten rules built my cage:
✓ Can’t enter a bar (even for your best friend’s birthday)
✓ Can’t keep cooking wine (the “slippery slope” to hell)
✓ Can’t date drinkers (eliminating 80% of potential partners)
✓ Can’t skip meetings (or risk “stinking thinking”)

The veterans weren’t thriving—just better at hiding their despair. I spotted it in:

• The tremor of 20-year-sober hands lighting cigarettes
• The hollow eyes of court-mandated newcomers
• The way women with decade-long chips whispered about loneliness over stale cookies

“ANONYMOUS”? A CRUEL JOKE
The only thing less anonymous than AA is a small-town STD clinic. At least Fight Club had rules:

1. Don’t talk about Fight Club
2. No, seriously—shut the hell up

But in AA? Your deepest shame becomes public gossip before the chairs are put away.

The Epiphany:
I can’t remember which exact meeting it was, but I’ll never forget the question that hit me.
“What if I don’t want to listen to this anymore? What if I’m done with these cursed rooms?”

This wasn’t about:

• Returning to chaos
• White-knuckling abstinence
• Thinking that maybe church could work instead

It was about a different way:

• Where alcohol exists but doesn’t rule
• Where I, with God’s help, set the terms—not a program written in the 1930’s
• Where “recovery” includes joy, not just survival

(End of Excerpt)

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What My Epiphany Taught Me

1. AA’s Fear-Mongering is a Trap
   • “One drink away from jail” keeps you dependent on meetings, not free in Christ.
2. Sobriety ≠ Happiness
   • Dry drunks are proof that white-knuckling abstinence isn’t healing.
3. There IS Another Way
   • Moderation, boundaries, and Jesus as your sponsor can work when AA fails.

Scripture That Anchored Me:
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”
— Galatians 5:1

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Your Turn

1. Have You Had This Epiphany?
   • Comment below: What was your “AA isn’t working” moment?
2. Share This Post with someone still trapped in the meeting grind.
3. Try One Thing Different This Week:
   • Skip a meeting & spend that hour in prayer
   • Read Psalm 40 instead of the Big Book
   • Go to a normal social event (yes, even if alcohol is there)
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