“I Drank Last Night – And It Was Okay”

(Confessions of a Recovering AA Rebel Who Found Moderation)

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The Date Night That Would Have Horrified My Old Sponsor

Last night, my wife and I:
☑️ Drove to Lake Tahoe
☑️ Shared some time at “Inspiration Point”, where I proposed to her nearly 10 years ago
☑️ Drank cocktails like “normal people”, of course beer for me
☑️ Came home happy—not hungover…too much

This would have been unthinkable 13 years ago.

Back then, I was:

• White-knuckling 5+ years of AA sobriety
• Listening to conflicting advice from old-timers (20 vs. 22 years sober = opposite approaches)
• Nearly suicidal from the cognitive dissonance

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The Turning Point

I realized:

“Abstinence or death” isn’t freedom—it’s another prison.

So, I negotiated what I call…a Grateful Truce.

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EXCERPT FROM CHAPTER 9: “THE MODERATION MATRIX”

THE MODERATION MATRIX
(Finding the Space Between Enjoyment and Enslavement)

1. THE 100-DAY TEST
Rule: If I can’t take 100 days off, I don’t control alcohol, it controls me.
• First attempt: 28 days (white-knuckled)
• Current record: 115 days (with actual peace, and a picture of the posterboard I used to track the days in my book.)

2. THE THREE-LEGGED STOOL RULE
Never drink when:
• Angry (Alcohol + rage = gasoline on a fire)
• Lonely (Wine can’t hug you back)
• Tired (Fatigue erases willpower)

3. THE JESUS CHECK
Three questions before the first sip:

1. “Is this honoring the body God gave me?”
2. “Am I drinking with life, or at life?”
3. “Does God need me sober for something today?”

FUN FRIDAYS (How I Learned to Dance with My Kryptonite)
Prime Time Distractions:
• Sushi Bribes (Spicy tuna rolls > IPA cravings)
• The 5:00 PM Rule: If I make it to 5 PM without drinking, my brain short-circuits: “Too late now—won’t even feel it before bedtime.”

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Why This Works When AA Failed Me

1. It’s Personalized
   • Not “90 meetings in 90 days”
   • But your 100-day test, your triggers, your faith
2. Jesus Over Willpower
   • AA says: “Surrender to a higher power”
   • I say: “Consult Christ directly”
3. No More All-or-Nothing
   • Last night’s drinks don’t erase 13 years of progress
   • Today’s boundaries don’t require lifelong abstinence

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“They Laughed at Me Too: Why Moderation is Recovery’s Forbidden Truth”

(A Rebuke to the 10% Success Rate Cult)

The Taboo They Fear

I know what happened when you dared to ask:

• In AA rooms: “That’s your disease talking!”
• In rehabs: “Moderation kills alcoholics!”
• In courtrooms: “Your honor, this man needs stricter monitoring!”

Yet these same voices worship a program with:
✔ 5-10% success rates (NIH data)
✔ No scientific updates since 1939
✔ More relapses than conversions

Scripture for the Shamed:
“Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness.”
— Isaiah 5:20 (ESV)

(This isn’t just about drinking—it’s about truth vs. dogma.)

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Why Moderation Terrifies Them

1. It Exposes Their Failure
   • If we can recover without eternal meetings, what’s left of their authority?
2. It Requires Actual Work
   • Abstinence says: “Just don’t pick up the first drink.”
   • Moderation demands: “Master your triggers, emotions, and habits.”
3. It Empowers You
   • AA needs you powerless.
   • Christ calls you “more than a conqueror” (Romans 8:37).

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My Moderation Toolbox (20 Pages of Rebellion)

Tools That Keep Me Free:

1. The 100-Day Test (Prove who’s boss annually)
2. The Beer limit calculator (Know your exact limit)
3. The “Hell No” List (Never drink when angry, lonely, tired)
4. The Jesus Check (3 questions before sipping)

Critics Sneer: “You’re just delaying your rock bottom!”
My Reality: 12 years of:
☑️ A great marriage
☑️ Years of working without calling in sick
☑️ A clear conscience

Their “Success Stories”?

• The same faces at meetings for decades, still introducing themselves as “alcoholics”
• The revolving door of 90-day rehab graduates

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The Statistical Heresy

If AA were a:

• Drug: FDA would ban it (10% efficacy)
• College: It’d lose accreditation (10% = F-)
• Religion: It’d be a cult (demands total surrender)

Scripture for the Skeptical:
“Test everything; hold fast what is good.”
— 1 Thessalonians 5:21 (ESV)

(Even Paul told believers to verify truth—not blindly obey.)

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Your Turn to Rebel

1. Try One Tool this week:
   • Practice the Jesus Check before drinking
2. Comment Below:
   • What moderation idea were you shamed for exploring?
3. Share This Post with someone still trapped in the abstinence-or-death lie.

Try One Thing from the Matrix this week:

• The 5PM Friday rule
• The Jesus Check before drinking
• A 30-day “rebellion break” from alcohol

1. Comment Below:
   • What moderation rule could you test?
   • What AA dogma needs challenging?

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